The Bicoastal Urge (for Normality) — MAGGIE DANIELLI PECORINO

Play “California” by Childish Gambino.

What is this urge to relocate and redefine our lives?

I know I’m not the only one who feels a recurrent desire to abandon what I know and leap into the void. But does everyone feel it?

Do you feel it?

—

I remember the day I realized that many people in this world live what one might call a “normal life”.

That is: they wake up, shower, eat/skip breakfast, go to work/school, maybe hit to the gym or go to happy hour with a friend to gossip about whatever is plaguing their conscience, commute home, hug the cat/walk the dog, make dinner/order takeout, watch TV/read a book, scroll their social media of choice, and go to bed. If they’re lucky, there’s some in that bed to have sex with first.

Rinse and repeat.

There is nothing at all wrong with this. I just didn’t realize how regular it was because I’m an actor.

Some people have hobbies, so their work week routine is broken up by a game of pickleball or whatever. It is, however, not the same as spending every waking moment of your spare time inside a theatre, living an alternate reality. This is a little schizophrenic. In retrospect, such an upbringing is not exactly normal.

Probably why real child stars end up so screwed.

One year, I drove up Portland, Maine for my birthday. I didn’t do much besides eat and write and walk around and go to breweries. And I noticed something.

I noticed that everyone in that sweet little city was doing the same. They drank coffee and walked and worked and ran errands and grabbed food with friends… and I realized — genuinely, for maybe the first time — oh. This is normal.

And what’s more?

This could be my life, too.

Such an odd, obvious statement. But it struck a chord. I was less than a year out of acting school. That (beautiful) mayhem.

And at that time I honestly don’t think I ever considered that life could be… simple.

It freaked me out.

Not because I was a slut for manic chaos as others certainly are, no. It was because I was so intrigued — attracted, even — to the idea of it.

A normal life! I could give up acting and move to Portland and start a normal life! Time to read a fucking book! A regular sleep schedule! Job security!

Can you imagine?

—

I didn’t move to Portland.

But looking back, that’s the first time I felt this urge I spoke of. Where does it come from? The desire to try on a new life?

Is it that our eyes have been opened to a new way of living?

Or maybe it’s because our eyes have begun to register the fact that the current way doesn’t exactly suit us any longer.

—

If you read this nonsense (and this here has no real substance at all) — congratulations. You heard it here first.

I’m moving.

“But Maggie… you’ve been moving around for the entire last year.”

Exactly.