Trains and Techno (and Freedom)
It’s hard to write about freedom. I think that putting the feeling of freedom into words is impossible. It’s paradoxical. Words are limiting by nature, while freedom is conceptually limitless. Describing freedom puts a cap on it. Recounting a favorite meal, song, memory… it feels wonderful, right? Well, it will not feel the same way to the next person. Freedom is subjective.
So I don’t think you can capture the essence of it, no. For your own self, maybe, but not for others.
Perhaps it is better put in terms of its opposite. What is it to feel trapped?
But no. I’m not here to write about the negative. So, I will try to talk about freedom — even though it’s hard.
I’ve always loved the train.
Ever since I was a little kid. Trains were my toy of choice. Thomas the Tank Engine? Loved that guy.
My Dad and I had an adorable tradition of getting sliced turkey and Swiss cheese from the deli and sitting in a parking lot next to the local train crossing, eating the turkey and Swiss rolled up into little logs, just waiting for a train to pass by. It made me so happy.
Why? No idea. Naturally, at age five I couldn’t put into words what excited me so much about this barrel of metal rushing by.
Now?
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Last year — actually, almost one year ago exactly — I bought a Eurail train pass for three months of travel in Europe. Unlimited rides. First class. A powerful tool.
A Brief Eurail Education:
On popular routes, seat reservations are sometimes required for an extra fee (anywhere from 2 - 32 USD). While slightly annoying, it was hardly limiting.
The first class component was almost entirely unnecessary, but it felt good.
I took a lot of trains during those three months. My guess is somewhere around 50. I would almost always spend the ride listening to music, staring at the passing scenery. Then I left my AirPods at a friends’ flat and traveled for an entire month without any headphones at all because I was feeling too cheap to care. Also, staring at the passing scenery without music was nice too. I could just sit there. Listening to my thoughts.
That, or I would plan. I’d often book a hostel for that same night while en route to my destination. The research became a favorite way to pass time.
I fell in love with train stations. Glass ceilings — the good kind. Fresh baked goods and (less) fresh coffee for early arrivals. The way people stand around the departure board waiting for their platform to pop up, like: if I don’t get there first, I won’t get a seat!
Bottom line?
Stepping foot out of the same car you stepped into mere hours earlier and finding yourself in a new place with absolutely no plan is an addicting feeling.
It feels like freedom.
This year, I experienced something that I’ve taken to calling my “techno awakening”. That is, I’ve listened to some techno in the past, but it was never really my thing. Then I went to Latin America and saw DJs mix live — a lot. I started to see the way people danced. And I started to dance, too. A lot.
Fuck, honestly? I’m not a descriptive enough writer to capture what a crowd of people dancing to electronic music feels like. I can only say that it is one of the safest, most liberating environments… ever. Similes fail me. It is a space of unparalleled freedom.
Freedom to move how you want. To dress how you want. To openly connect with others. Or, on the contrary, to spend some valuable quality time with your self. Freedom in the present moment.
There’s a reason why some people describe dancing to techno as meditative. I get it. I’m one of those people now.
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Why do I talk about freedom? I’m not sure. Maybe because it’s so easy to forget. The all-over feeling of it. I do not want to take it for granted. Never again.
What is something that makes you feel free? When was the last time you experienced this feeling?
ONWARDS,
Mag