PART TWO

Where do we draw the line between having the courage to accept the things we cannot change and the courage to know when to say… fuck that?

It takes courage to release control.

It takes courage to go and grab it.

How do we know when to do what?

Like all things worth writing into the void about, there is no single answer.

—

Here’s a story.

Once upon a Time, there was a girl who really loved cornbread.

She loved it so much that she ate a piece every single day. For breakfast. For a snack. For a cute little side with her dinner. It was an absolute necessity. Her day was not complete without her cornbread.

One day, she read a review in Bon Appetit about a not-to-be missed dish at a nice, new restaurant near her hometown. It was a special cornbread. She immediately made a dinner reservation to venture out and try it.

The week leading up the reservation stretched on interminably. Even amidst her other daily cornbreads, the idea of this one in particular remained front of mind.

At last, the day came. She drove one hour to this nice, new restaurant. She was even early for her reservation — she was that excited.

The time finally came to order.

The cornbread was sold out for that evening.

She tried to hide her disappointment. She ordered a few other items — all delicious — and enjoyed her time quite thoroughly. It was a lovely restaurant. Indeed, it was a lovely evening.

But nothing could change the fact that she had not gotten the cornbread she so desired. As she lay in bed later that night, it was the only thing on her mind.

—

The question is this:

A) Does she accept this stroke of bad luck resulting in two hours of unnecessary driving for an expensive meal and dashed hopes?

B) Does she go out and try again?

It may seem insane to care so much about cornbread, but put the rational part of your mind aside for a moment and take a look at the bigger picture.

She either:

A) Accepts that she had no control over this unfortunate outcome or,

B) Asserts control and fights to change circumstances for the better

There is no wrong answer. The decision to assert control or accept a lack thereof depends on many factors. It depends on you.

—

As I said last week, some stories are written for us. External, independent factors will always play a role in our lives. (Maybe a bigger part than we’d like to admit.) These are the times when you must release control and accept what is handed to you. It can save you a lot of grief.

Sometimes.

I’m here — the embodiment of the Devil’s advocate — to suggest that maybe it’s time to just…

Go eat the cornbread.

Try releasing control first. But if you can’t?

Forget what anyone else thinks. Do what you think is going to make you feel better. I believe that the feeling of taking action to go after what you want is something worth holding on to. Even if it doesn’t actually lead to a better outcome.

The sense of autonomy that comes from writing your own story, from making your own decisions (and your own mistakes)… that power is undeniable.

The courage to wrestle with control is hard-won. And finding it might just influence every other decision you make in your life.

Next time: cornbread.

Just try.